Judgement Free

The wind shifted from yesterday’s brisk North wind to a warm South wind, but still maintained its constant 30 mph assault. It was the car to and from work for me today.

I can deal with many things…but not a constant, pressing wind. Or rather, I choose not to.

With temps in the 60’s, I felt a little sheepish not walking or biking today. In fact, when I got home and spent a few minutes in the garden while Trooper ran around the yard and did her business, I thought regretfully for a few moments of the progress lost by allowing myself to indulge my aversion of strong winds.

No sooner did those thoughts form in my mind, than Mother Nature puckered up and blew full-on into my face, causing me to struggle to catch my breath, my hair blowing around everywhere.

Nope! No regrets here. I’m good.

Trooper and I turned on our heels and trotted into the house.

But not before feasting our eyes upon this…

Our first Rhodie blossom of the season :)

Don’t blow away little guy!

So with the outdoors more or less off-limits and being pretty sore from my yoga adventure yesterday, I proceded to do what any well-respecting person with a free late afternoon would do…

I curled up in a sunbeam with a good book. And then fell asleep. For TWO…WHOLE…HOURS!

Wowza! I must have needed it. The phone even rang and it was right next to me.

Didn’t hear it.

Trooper got up and left the room, which she never does without trying to wake me up.

Must have tried. And failed.

Upon waking, a part of me attempted to engage in a hyper-analysis of what this must mean…

I’m lazy?
I’m sick?
I’m feeling bad about something and avoiding life?
Something? Anything I can judge myself about?

The other, wiser part said…

It is what it is. I trust myself to know this is OK, to allow myself to be where I am and encourage living judgement free.

Whew!

How many times do we catch ourselves doing or thinking something we “shouldn’t” engage in or being in a less than stellar mood and pouncing on ourselves like a cat with lively prey? To question our motives? To bully ourselves into thinking we should be more chipper, more active, more productive when our hearts — and perhaps our bodies — simply aren’t in it?

An authentic life contains — and allows — all of life. The ups and the downs. Productive and unproductive. Active and a little good ole laziness. All are welcome. All are real. All are normal.

To think we have to be happy all the time denies the reality of our emotions and our engagement in life. Demanding we milk the most activity out of every waking moment for fear of wasting time rejects our need for downtime.

One of the most useful takeaways from yoga for me has been the question, “What is available to me in this moment?”

Can we always push ourselves to do more? To go further? Sure. And there’s a place for that, but it’s a fine line. We also need to remember our need for tenderness, for nurturing, for being allowed to be real with ourselves. To be authentic to who, and where, we are.

When I remember this, everything is allowed. Whether my ever-active egoistic mind likes where I am or not. No matter what I may fear other people would think if they caught me napping for two hours on a Tuesday afternoon.

My job is simply to respect it. Without judgement.//

 

Personal Challenge Progress – Day 7

Samesies as Day 6…

Biking – 14.7/750
Walking – 7.6/250

About ~Christy

I am a writer, foodie, yogini, and perpetual seeker of joy and adventure from the Twin Cities. My inspiration comes from personal experience and my daily interactions with the natural world.
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